DAVID WONG is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, New York Times bestselling author of the John Dies at the End series as well as the award-winning Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. His essays at Cracked.com have been read by tens of millions of people around the world. ZOEY PUNCHES THE FUTURE IN THE DICK: A Novel, the second book in the Zoey Ashe series, arrives in October of 2020. Less